Sex life looking dull? Expert-approved ways to reignite a burnt-out flame

It turns out being stuck at home all day, every day with your partner in a pandemic isn’t doing any wonders for people’s sex lives. 

For the past year, many Canadians have been confined to their homes and for some, that can mean a loss of libido and intimacy in their relationships, experts say. 

But there are ways to reignite that burnt-out flame.

Toronto-based sexologist Jessica O’Reilley says reminiscing about a first date or how you met can help bring back the fire in your sex life. 

“When you recall happy and exciting and passionate memories, it helps to reinvigorate the feelings associated with new love as well as some of the chemical response in your body.” 

O’Reilley adds that — while it may seem counterintuitive — you can build sexual excitement and anticipation by banning sex for a period of time. 

“Building anticipation is the key to pleasure. This has to do with this dopamine release,” she says, adding that this practice can help reframe the narrative of “scheduling sex.” 

O’Reilley also recommends partner exercises that can help build a physical connection, such as yoga. 

“Or maybe stretches that you can do together that require you to get really close or climb on top or collaborate in some way,” she says. 

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The physical closeness can help remind you what it feels like, as well as cement your bond, she adds. 

“What happens outside the bedroom really affects what you do and how you feel in the bedroom.” 

O’Reilly recommends being playful in your relationships, taking part in games like iSpy or trivia that allow you to laugh and become open to playfulness when you’re in the bedroom. 

“Sex doesn’t always have to be that serious,” she says. 

For couples who are struggling to connect because they are constantly around their children, O’Reilley says you can sneak around, make time for yourselves or, invest in some sex toys.

“There are a number of tech gadgets on the market that are made just for this.” 

She adds that some sex toys pair with your phone so you and your partner can be in separate rooms and, if given permission, you can both play around with each other. 

For more information on how to reignite your sex life, watch the full video above.