I know how wearing the wait can be. How it is easier to give in to the reality of your circumstances and submit to the idea that this is all that life has for you.
I see you, your soul tired from holding onto hope that something could happen for you here. I see you struggling to keep your heart open and still looking for that light at the end of the tunnel. I see you battling with desires you’ve held within you for so long now, wondering whether they’ll be brought to life or they’ll meet a slow death.
I see you, holding all this pain so quietly while you watch things fall into place for people around you. How you smile for them and laugh with them and celebrate them as their dreams take shape while you feel somewhat forgotten and left behind. I know the ache in your heart. I’m writing you these little reminders so you don’t feel alone in all that you’re feeling; because I see you in your pain, but I also see what your pain isn’t allowing you to see — that there is more for you, even here, even now.
What you’re waiting for is making its way towards you
If you’ve been in a desert season for a while now, I know how difficult it can be to even imagine good things springing up for you here. But I want you to know that the desires you hold within you have meaning—they have a purpose. They are birthed in you for a reason. And sometimes it takes longer than you’d like for this to become clear in your life, to understand the reason for these delays. But I want you to remember that your waiting has a purpose; it may frustrate you and drive you to the edge of your patience, but there is something for you to learn here. If you settle into the waiting, there will be areas in your heart that will be revealed to you, things that need a good long look into, spaces to heal and embrace wholeness. Don’t fight the wait, don’t rush into things to fill that ache, don’t give in and settle for things that don’t fulfill you, that leave you feeling empty and even lonelier than when you’re alone. I’ve learned through the tiresome waiting that if you hold on for just a little longer, you start to see hopeful horizons, and you realize that your wait was quietly walking you towards places you’d never find yourself in otherwise.
As long as you’re alive, it’s never too late
When you’re fixated on where you want to be, it’s easy to get frustrated at how things aren’t lining up the way you thought they would. You’re focused on things that aren’t working out for you. I know it’s disappointing to keep editing your timeline because nothing seems to be happening no matter how long you wait. And the longer you are made to wait, the more convinced you become that you won’t be dealt the good stuff in this lifetime. You start believing that although you receive happiness in small doses, all the big blessings are reserved for others, or else you would’ve seen a glimpse of it by now. When hopelessness weighs heavy, I want you to remember that as long as you have breath in your lungs and a beat in your heart, there is always possibility. And although it may seem like it’s taking forever, it only ever takes one second for your life to look different than it did before. And when you get there, all the weight will have lifted and you will look back and see that the wait was not wasted. I want you to remember that no matter how slowly things are shaping up for you, hold fast to this hope wherever you are. As long as you’re here, all the beautiful things that have been set in place especially for you will find their way to you — it’s never too late.
You are worthy of beautiful things
I know what it feels like to be gripped by your past, by your wounds and your weaknesses. To feel like your brokenness makes you who you are. To believe that the choices you made make you unworthy of receiving any goodness. When those voices get loud in your head, I want you to remember that you are not what you did and you are not who you were a year back, a month back, or even yesterday. I see you, in all your darkness, how you still long to move towards the light. How you still want to learn and grow and be better. I know what it’s like to know now what you didn’t know back then, to want to go back in time and choose differently, to wish you didn’t waste all that time being that person. But I see you, in all your trying, in all the ways you’re making an effort to choose to do good today, to do better right now. And let me remind you that you are deserving of every good thing that’s out there. Nothing you have done or been can disqualify you from what’s coming your way. You have to learn to loosen your grip on what’s past to make space to receive what’s to come. You have to keep moving towards the light and you’ll find yourself in places that will brighten your soul and make it come alive once again.
Let this be the loudest echo in your heart today: I am worthy of beautiful things; there is more for me here.