They say it takes a village to raise a child. And while we generally associate it with parents who are knee-deep in raising littles, never is the village more important than in times of hardship and sorrow.
In a TikTok seen around the world, mother of two, Tessa Truman, shares touching doorbell camera footage of her “village” showing up for her after suffering an ectopic pregnancy.
And it proves just how powerful that village can be.
A Mother’s Loss
Truman, who is studying to be a nurse, was 11 weeks pregnant when she realized that something was drastically wrong.
“All of a sudden, ten minutes after I woke up, I was having extreme pain in my stomach and I felt super nauseous,” Truman explained.
“My vision started going black and so I called out to my fiancé, who had just gotten home from working night shift, and he rushed to the bathroom and actually caught me as I passed out.”
Paramedics rushed Truman to the hospital where she underwent emergency surgery.
“The fetus implanted … and was growing in my (fallopian) tube. It grew so big that it ended up rupturing, leading to internal bleeding,” she told Today.com.
According to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, ectopic pregnancy occurs when the fertilized egg implants outside of the uterus, most often in a fallopian tube.
It can be life-threatening.
“If I hadn’t had surgery when I had it, there’s a good chance that I wouldn’t have made it because of how much blood I was losing. It was a lot to process, and it still is a lot to process … and I also had to process losing my baby at the same time.”
Tessa Truman
Enter THE VILLAGE.
A Mother’s Village Shows Up
Two days after undergoing surgery, Truman returned home. And that’s when people started showing up.
One by one, dozens of neighbors, friends, school classmates, co-workers, and acquaintances appeared on her doorstep, bearing meals, flowers, and household supplies.
The incredible outpouring of community support was captured on Truman’s ring camera and she uploaded footage of it onto TikTok where it has been viewed by more than 16 MILLION PEOPLE and counting.
It has also amassed 3 million likes and more than 8,000 comments.
The video, set to the song Little Life, starts with Truman being wheeled out on a stretcher by first responders. It quickly morphs into clip after clip of women and men (and dogs!) bringing gifts.
She simply captioned it,
“Couldn’t be more grateful for my village.”
Response to the Video Was Staggering
Despite the fact that pregnancy loss is common — according to statistics it occurs in one out of four pregnancies — it is often shrouded in secrecy.
By pulling back the curtain, Truman opened up the floodgates to hundreds of women sharing their own stories of loss. And hope.
“Going through an ectopic pregnancy was the scariest thing ever! Happy you have your village,” wrote one.
“I had an ectopic pregnancy back in Feb and it’s one of the most traumatic things to go through. I’m so glad you have people who love and support you,” wrote another.
A third commenter shared, “Just in case you need a little hope, I had an ectopic pregnancy in March 2021 & had a fallopian tube removed. By July 2021 we were pregnant again and she was born Feb 2022 🙂”
And another wrote, “Had an ectopic pregnancy in 2018 was told could never have kids again 2019 aug I found out I was blessed again. u will be ok u got this it’s so hard.”
Hearing about others’ experiences and knowing that she wasn’t alone went a long way in helping her heal.
“Sharing my life on social media is almost a way for me to heal, by telling people what’s going on,” Truman said of why she wanted to post about her experience. “Once I shared it on social media, I was reached out to [by] so many moms. I would say hundreds of moms told me they had a similar situation happen … and I’m so glad that I did end up sharing on social media because I was reassured and supported.”
Paying It Forward
Not only did her village (in real life and online) help her to heal emotionally and physically, but it also gave her a newfound perspective on the importance of reaching out to others who are struggling.
“It truly has changed the trajectory of my whole healing process by having people that loved me, and were nurturing to me, and cared for me by just showing the small acts of kindness that they did.”
Tessa Truman
And she plans on taking that lesson with her and paying it forward.
Despite what we may have been taught about keeping silent when it comes to pregnancy loss (isn’t this why we wait 12 weeks to share the news?), no one should ever have to suffer the loss of a child alone.
At a time when she needed it most, Truman was surrounded by love and compassion. It’s a touching reminder of the power of collective support and the incredible difference just showing up can make.
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